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Singles Comparing your current relationship, to your past relationships is toxic please. Stop it!!!

You need to understand that each lover you have, has a different way of expressing love, and a different capacity to love. Some lovers are hopelessly romantic, show you off wherever we go, while others are more low-key, keep to ourselves but love you endlessly. These aren’t necessarily bad things, it just depends on the kind of person you are, and the kind of love you respond to.

Comparisons become trouble when they start to affect your relationship. When you start to compare what someone in your past did for you, compared to someone in your present. When you make statements either to your lover or to your friends, criticizing a current lover based on the love you received from someone else. Don’t get me wrong, you deserve to be treated like gold, and maybe your current lover isn’t doing that for you, but your ex sure did. But, new relationships should not be judged based on old ones.

You should be open with your current partner about your expectations, and your desires to be loved in certain ways. Getting upset at someone who doesn’t do the things your ex did, isn’t fair. Some people show love differently, and sometimes simple communication and understanding can teach them how to show it to you in would like. It's not easy to learn to take what they’ve given you and apply it to new relationships, without criticizing or comparing the old with the new. But you should try.

My biggest advice is, if someone isn’t treating you the way you want to be treated, communicate. If you’re someone who responds to love in the form of social media sappy posts and flowers, say that. If you’re someone who likes to keep things low-key, say that too. Your present partner is not your mind reader. And your partner isn’t your ex. Be honest with yourself and be honest with them. Never you compare your current relationship, to your past relationships.

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